Black and White thinking: How does it affect your art?
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"Black and White Thinking"
I discovered for myself that black and white or "all or nothing"
approach with my artwork can really affect my artistic journey. My
first thought goes to deprivation. When I don't allow myself play time
with my creative self, it becomes vital that I have something amazing
to show for it when I do. It is almost as if there is a voice saying,
"If I can't measure progress or success, I can't justify making this
time again." Sound absurd? In working with the Artist's Way, I realized
that simply making the time and taking action was progress. In fact,
even consistently attempting to make time to be creative is progress.
The time I plan is sacred. I get to watch how quickly I put the needs
of others first, how I abandon the plan altogether when conditions
aren't just right or even how I won't take action unless I can get
someone else involved. All of these reasons and more put me into a
state of "analysis paralysis". Judgements, outcomes and my own harsh
inner critic take over and I can't complete the action. When these
things happen and it takes over the situation or opportunity, there is
a part of me that was waiting to say "See! I told you this would
happen." It is the story I subconsciously prefer. Even when I take a
risk, make plans and take action, there is part of me that is waiting
to say "I knew this would never work anyway"
So, the question is this: When am I ready to quit living in that story?
Perhaps the story of defeat and powerlessness is all I have ever known.
Maybe even though it isn't good for me, I am more comfortable there
because it is how I spent a good portion of my life. The point isn't so
much in the "Why is it this way?" as it is the "How am I going to
change it?". For me, I use two main tools: support and repetition.
Support shows up in the form of accountability. Generally, someone with
experience that can help me to realistically set goals and reflect
accountability. I once had a mentor that told me "Find people who are
doing what you want to do and immerse yourself in them". Forming a plan
of action, speaking it out loud and following up are scary and
vulnerable things. It is so easy for me to talk myself out of something
or break a promise to myself. In the beginning, the accountability is
huge. Repetition is also key. In this journey, I am almost guaranteed
to embarrass myself, stumble, come up short, etc. Who do you know that
sets a course from A to B and glides perfectly each time? I make an
agreement with myself to create what I lovingly call the "string of
pearls" effect. Each experience is a pearl of wisdom. There is data I
learn about myself, the environment and the process. When I get caught
in all or nothing thinking, I forget to keep collecting the data. If
something goes wrong or an emotional land mine is hit, I would simply
quit. Forming this new agreement allows me to collect a series of data.
One experience may be something I prefer not to do again, but I have to
proportionately weigh that against other experiences. If I make an
agreement to keep going until I have 6 art experiences for example,
then I can look over the "string of pearls" and collect the emergent
pattern for a more realistic truth. Then I can regroup, make some minor
changes and try another series. Did I try a different teacher? A
different media? A different time of day? A different support-network?
There are so many ingredients to consider. It is a delight to set forth
on a journey and learn more about what is conducive to my own greatest
potential and to also know that my journey varies from those around me.
So, my question to you is this: What story are you currently living
that is holding you back from your greatest potential?
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