What does it mean to put ourselves out there? It is easy to sit back and watch others that inspire, entertain or even stumble and fail. We all have that list of things we would like to do. The more important question is "What is it that is blocking us?"
Most of the time when when we are blocked in an area of our life, it is because we feel safer that way. Much fear of our own creativity is the fear of the unknown. We have some pretty awful notions about what could happen. So rather than find out, we decide to stay blocked. This is seldom a conscious decision. It is more often an unconscious response to internalized negative beliefs. Clearing away cultural negatives, we may find we are still left with core negatives we have acquired from our families, teachers, and friends. These are often more subtle- but equally undermining if not confronted. The work is to confront them.
Think about the last time you took a risk and tried something new and had a positive experience. Experiences like riding a bike for the first time or hitting a baseball didn't all just happen perfectly the first attempt. Why, as adults, do we condition ourselves to believe that our success or failure pivots around one action. By being vulnerable, we embrace the risk and take an action or share an aspect of ourselves with someone that has earned our trust. The payoff perhaps, is that the core negative belief we were holding on to, doesn't come true. Your block doesn't want you to see that. Its plan of attack is to make you irrationally afraid of some outcome you are too embarrassed to even mention. You know that your actions shouldn't be put off because of some silly fear, but you don't air it and the block stays in tact.
Trusting our creativity is new behavior for many of us. It may feel quite threatening initially, not only to us but also to those closest to us. We may feel-and look-erratic. This erraticism is a normal part of getting unstuck, pulling free from the muck that has blocked us. It is important to remember that at first flush, going sane feels like going crazy.
Finding a tribe with common interests is important to my survival in integrating and staying challenged. This increases my ability to stay motivated to pursue the things I love. By investing in people, one action at a time, I am able to build trusting relationships with others and see that my negative core beliefs are illusions that are holding me back. Left to my own devices, in my own head, those negative core beliefs become reality and there is nobody equally invested to validate them.
Don't get me wrong. I am guaranteed to fall, scrape my knee, be embarrassed and even get turned down. Life isn't a constant uphill climb in which I can constantly measure the progress. A friend once told me that if I wasn't getting rejected, I wasn't trying hard enough. I find that the positive outcomes of taking action include validation, connection, new perspectives, hope and encouragement. So what are the payoffs of being stuck?
Choose vulnerability today. Look for the newcomer that has less experience than you and motivate and lift them up. Seek the person that has experience and let them share the stories of trials that they overcame to arrive where they are today. Make yourself available for connection and make multiple connections to find the personalities that are a good fit for you. If you are feeling stuck, ask yourself "What daily action am I taking to move toward my goal?"
